Your Blog Bores the Arse Off Me

Photo by Andrew Nattan

Hi there. You don’t know me too well, but maybe you should. I’m your audience.  I’m the guy who subscribes to your blog via RSS, retweets your posts and leaves you the odd comment. But let me tell you a secret. I’m doing those things more out of habit at the moment. Why?

Because your blog is boring me to tears. And if you don’t get a grip, then it’s over between us.

Is Your Blog Boring Your Audience?

It’s not that I don’t want to hear what you have to say, it’s that you’re just not engaging me the way you used to. And if I’m not engaged with what you have to say, then I’m not going to do what you want me to. But don’t worry. We’re going to work things out. I’m going to show you where you’re going wrong, and you’ll thank me for it when you see more subscribers, more retweets and more comments.

Could You At Least Look Like You’re Making An Effort?

Let me share this with you first. When I’m scanning my RSS feed, or clicking onto a link I’ve been sent, I’m not going to be drawn in by a wall of text.

Give me something that attracts my attention. A picture will do. It doesn’t have to be a work of art, just something that’s appropriate to your headline and that stands out.  If you’re lucky, you’ll have something like that lying around. A picture of a bored-looking friend perhaps?

If not, what’s stopping you heading over to Flickr? There are people there just dying to get their work seen.

Take five minutes to find the right picture. It’ll work wonders when it comes to the all-important first glance.

It’s Not You. It’s Me.

It really is all about me. Sure, share your thoughts and opinions with me. I like that. But don’t just talk yourself. Talk to me directly. Address me. Communicate with me.

And you know what’s worse than when you only talk about yourself? When you don’t talk about anyone. When you tell me what’s good for “bloggers“, or “readers” or “the man on the street“.

If I feel like you’re talking with me, I’m more likely to talk back.

My Time Is Precious

I appreciate that you’ve got lots to say, but I don’t have the time to read your five thousand word treatise on the future of SEO, or your novella on copywriting mistakes.

I’ll tell you what does impress me though – concise articles that are packed to bursting with information, advice and ideas. If you can condense all that wonderful content down into a bite-sized chunk, I’ll love you for it.

Keep what you need to say brief, and I’ll read to the end. The less time I need to spend reading and dissecting your post, the more time I’ll have to tell all my friends that what you have to say is worth reading.

So Then? Can We Give This Another Go?

So now I’ve got that off my chest, what do you say? Will you catch my eye with some illuminating illustrations? Will you engage me in conversations instead of lecturing me from the pulpit? Will you keep it short and to the point, so I’ve got the time to read what you’ve worked so hard to write?

If you do, I promise I’ll be a better reader. I’ll subscribe, I’ll promote and I’ll talk back.

Just let me know. What do you say?

9 Comments comments for "Your Blog Bores the Arse Off Me"

  1. Andrew Nattan says:

    There usually is…

  2. Matt says:

    I want your friend’s T-shirt.

    By the by, I like posting the odd picture with my posts. But a wall of text is only really a wall of text if your first line’s crap.

    I also think blogs are inherently self-indulgent. Course, you’re looking after an active SEO blog, with an active community around it. No room for tittle-tattle there, which is why you’re doing a good job.

    So keep doing that and don’t worry about those I, I, I ones — it’s only Livejournal’s afterbirth.
    .-= Matt´s last blog ..Half a thought on new writing =-.

    • Andrew Nattan says:

      I think he’d sell it to you for about a fiver.

      Blogs don’t necessarily need to be self-indulgent. Look at things like Copyblogger for example, it’s just sound and solid advice portrayed in a new way – very little chest thumping and banner waving there.

  3. Jack says:

    This is the type of mindless drivel that makes me want to comment.

    I’m tired of all the zero class, overly sensitive, elementary students hoisting their crap out into the world.

    Good luck selling your garbage to the next brown nosing “arse” kisser.

    • Andrew Nattan says:

      Cheers Jack,

      That’s the sort of slightly irate “I’m on the internet so don’t have to fake politeness, you arse kisser” comment that makes me want to keep on blogging.
      I’m sorry you think my post is garbage (I’d have gone for “utter shite” myself, really twisted that knife), and I’ll definitely steer clear from posting advice in anything other than a clearly bullet pointed list in future.
      I mean, what was I thinking? A light hearted way of making the point that if you’re going to stand out from the crowd, you’ll need eye-catching, user-focussed and tightly-edited content? Get a grip man!
      If you want to quote me for the time you wasted reading this, I’ll gladly pay you for the time you so unfairly squandered on the elementary student garbage of an experienced writer.

  4. lazygirl says:

    This was a pretty funny read.

    I’m very new to blogging (my site isn’t even listed on Google yet) so I’ve been reading a lot of SEO articles today and… yep, clicking out fairly fast on most!

    I figured it’s because most of the posts are too technical for noobs like me, but some are a bit boring aren’t they?
    .-= lazygirl´s last blog ..I do not have intestinal worms, I assure you =-.

    • Andrew Nattan says:

      Thanks for the comment Lazy Girl, and I’m glad you got the joke!
      Posts don’t have to be boring – that was sort of my point. It’s easy to put out dry, navel-gazing content – but you shouldn’t settle for the easy way out. If you give people what they want, they’re more likely to stick around.

  5. Jen says:

    Excellent advice, which I’m passing on to my authors.

    (Some of those commenters above just don’t get it do they.)

    Keep blogging,

    J :)

  6. Alexander says:

    Hey, who the f**k are you, Jack? And what kind of lazy-*ss comment is that? Think you can do better? Then show it! If not, get the f*ck out of cyberspace! If you do post a comment, at least say something substantial and meaningful rather than just spout your frustration!

    Andrew, nice job, like the article! Kudos! I’ll be checking back!

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