Swipe Right for Sexy Copy

Even if you’ve spent the last ten years cocooned in the warmth of monogamous bliss like yours truly, you can’t have missed the revolution in online dating. Tinder’s reduced the complexities of human relationships to two actions. Swipe right if you fancy a roll in the hay, swipe left if you’d rather not.

On Tinder, you’ve got seconds to make an impression. It helps to not have a face like a slapped arse, but you can apparently improve your chances with a quick line of compelling copy. Because let’s face it, everything’s better with great copy.

So practice your duck pout, photoshop some abs onto your beer gut, and let’s see what Tinder’s got to say about copy.

Stick a Compelling Benefit Front and Centre

From what I can gather from listicles of “Tinder Fails”, the app’s not about romance. It’s more about willing couples meeting up to do the sort of sweaty and exhausting things that we married types have swapped for long walks around Ikea and suppressing thoughts of murder during discussions about curtain styles. It’s not about being coy. It’s about prompting a certain sort of transaction.

Just like b2b copy if you ask me, although people on Tinder seem to be more up front about who’s getting screwed.

A bit of clarity does two things. It lets people know exactly what they’re getting, and it provokes a bit of desire. If you can’t see how that applies to copywriting, there’s no hope for you.

It’s Not All About You, Sweetheart

There’s nothing more unattractive than self-absorption.

If your website is a screed about how magnificent you are, you’ll get about as much interest as poor Zach here.

Instead, talk about your customer. Butter them up a bit. Tell them how interested you are in them. How funny and pretty and clever they are. Then when you slip a powerful sales proposition into their email inbox, it’ll be much more welcome.

For God’s Sake, Drop the Cheese

There’s a meme on the Reddit Tinder forum called “The Pickup Lime.” Upon getting a match, the instigator sends a picture of a green citrus fruit with the caption “this is my pickup lime.”

It’s exactly as cringeworthy as you’d expect. And about as unsuccessful.

The thing about the pickup lime is that it was probably funny the first time a recipient saw it. It may have broken the ice.

The fifteenth time, not so much.

That goes for the oh-so-funny obvious pun on your website. I’m a great believer in humour in copy (says the guy who’s writing a marketing post about a hookup app, to the incredulity of precisely nobody), but if you go for the easy, cheesy joke, it’s just going to get a shrug and a roll of the eyes.

Either put some thought into it, or don’t bother.

Follow-up Copy is Just as Important

If there’s one piece of advice you follow from this article, make it this one:

Do NOT send pictures of your genitals to your clients. Also do not send them to your freelance copywriter.

From what I can gather from a Buzzfeed article I once read while on the loo, lots of blokes come on very strong. They think “hello” is an invitation to send a picture of their John Thomas. That “hey” is a request for graphic anatomical illustrations. And that “please don’t send me a dick pic” is a demand for a close up of a willy.

It’s the same with businesses. Sort of.

How often does a follow-up email or remarketing AdSense ad come on far too strong and destroy any warm feelings you had towards a potential commercial hook-up?

A brief flicker of interest doesn’t mean you should whack out the swingers and whirl them towards your client’s face.

Just play it cool but confident, and you’ll turn your mutual swiping into a much more rewarding relationship in no time.

And remember. Keep it in your pants, yeah?

 

 

Disclaimer (for my wife): All images cribbed from Reddit and similar sites. You can check my phone if you want Laura, I don’t use Tinder. And I was joking about the Ikea thing. I love you. Please can we have chippy tea on Friday?