Obligatory and Entirely Serious "The Last Jedi" Clickbait Post

If you read my “The Last Jedi” clickbait post within an hour of publication, it’s entirely probably that I’ll be at Cineworld Leigh, wearing a t-shirt with an X-Wing on it, watching the latest entry into the Star Wars Saga. I am a Star Wars fan. That apparently means that you can turn my love of Star Wars against me. Oh yes.

Every other post you read today from businesses will explain how sticking Yoda’s face onto a chequebook will mean I’ll kick your doors down to sign up for a current account. Or that I’ll queue overnight to buy your “Wookiee Cookies.”

But before you listen to them, listen to me.

This is the post you’re looking for.

The Only The Last Jedi Clickbait Post You Ever Need to Read

Star Wars. It’s more than a series of three shite films, one average cash-in and four good films. (Please let that be five good films by the time you read this)

It’s more than that. It’s like the Force. It surrounds us, and penetrates us…

There we go. Point one.

Jamming a Random Reference from The Last Jedi Into Your Marketing Won’t Work

Today, the internet will be awash with people doing what I’ve just done repeatedly. Dropping huge, clanging Star Wars quotes into marketing materials.

Problem is, they’ll just throw a quote or reference in at random.

“The Force will be with you if you buy our sandwiches.”

“These ARE the interest rates you’re looking for.”

Obi Wan didn’t die for this.

It’s try-hard nonsense. People who don’t watch the films won’t get it, and those of us that do, well, we’re going to see through it.

That’s not right though, is it?

Stop Slapping Ewoks and Stormtroopers on Shit

Surely if I like The Last Jedi, residual goodwill will make sure I buy your products if you slap a picture of Mark Hamill on them?

Just because I like a film, doesn’t mean I’m going to go out of my way to buy shit I don’t need because it’s tenuously related.

Look at this. C3PO wept.

It’s a razor. Does this magnificent chap look like he’s arsed about the brand of razor he uses?

Course he doesn’t. Jek Porkins don’t care about razors. Jek Porkins cares about cake and shooting down TIE fighters. And he’s all out of cake.

By slapping Star Wars branding on your content, you’re basically saying “I have nothing going for me beyond this tenuous link to something unrelated.”

Wow. What a call to action.

The Clickbait Posts About The Last Jedi Are Worse Than All This

The worst though, the worst of all, the Grand Leader Snoke of tie-in Star Wars nonsense is the cavalcade of crappy clickbait that you’re about to see.

“What can Rey’s journey in The Last Jedi teach us about Blockchain?”

Nothing.

“Are you a Finn or a Poe when it comes to car insurance renewals?”

Neither.

“17 reasons The Last Jedi fans will love our cosmetic dentistry”

You’re reaching now.

Star Wars’ Copywriting Lessons.”

And that’s peak clickbait nonsense.

So resist.

Steer clear of the temptations of the Dark Side, stay true to yourself, and don’t dilute your marketing messages by advertising a film that’s going to make billions anyway.

And most of all, make sure that this is the last Star Wars The Last Jedi clickbait post that you read today..

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